By Ahsan
“The person who is in a state of constant happiness and wisdom is always embracing change.”
Confucius 551-479 BC, Chinese philosopher and politician
When you observe little children who are up to 7 years old, have you noticed that they are generally happy? What can you scientifically conclude from this? Why, of course, the fundamental nature of a human being is to be happy.
That is until they get taught to become sad, fearful or angry.
Who on earth would knowingly take a perfectly happy baby and teach her to become sad, fearful and angry?
Did you ever wonder? Do you want to know?
Well, the culprits are mainly parents who innocently project their behaviour that the child starts to imitate, society with its customs and norms and the media that overdramatizes with their movies, tv shows and commercials.
It’s all programming and conditioning. Agree? If you don’t, perhaps you have been conditioned so well that you think this theory is bunk. Hey, maybe and maybe not?
The evidence of this parental, cultural and societal programming and conditioning is easy to see in your own life. Who else in your family is anxious? What attitudes have you picked up from teachers, your culture and favourite movies? Think for a few minutes and come back to the article.
What’s more, when people or situations “cause” us to feel sad, fearful or angry, we think it’s only natural and normal to do so!
Why, of course, you should be mad when someone stabs you in the back at work, metaphorically. Why, of course, you should feel sad when your friends did not invite you out, and who wouldn’t get angry at that slow driver staying in the passing lane? Sheesh!
You can avoid all this, I tell you. It will take a bit of commitment and de-programming. If you want to get out of the “Cult” that says you should punish yourself with unhappy feelings when people and situations don’t go your way, you will do no worse if you consider these following actions:
1. Understand that life is not in your control, and neither are people. The true definition of insanity is to think they are. Let life unfold and enjoy it moment to moment as it unfolds. Just as you would a beautiful piece of music, let each note happen and be with the music.
2. Make a list of where you got your conditioned attitudes, preconceived notions and in-depth programming.
3. Become self-aware. Start noticing that feeling of negative emotion as it comes up the second it does and then immediately let it go. You will need to practice this—a lot.
4. Own the problem. The problem is you. Not reality and not people. When you change, you will suddenly notice that the world does not need to change, and the people in it do not need to change.
Perhaps this knowledge will reach you in time. What would really be sad is if you were a 74-year-old person who complains that whenever things are going well in life, it seems like something comes along to ruin it. This is one way to live, and it is a bitter way. The better way is to drop your illusions and embrace change by changing yourself. This is what Confucius so prophetically taught 2500 years ago.
Be happy today! May you be happy always! Amen.
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