by Ahsan
I bet you know your favourite person quite well. You probably know a lot about them, like their favourite foods, where they grew up and how they think about life. That likely goes a long way to creating a great relationship with them where you are in tune with that person.
Now stop for a second and think about how well you know yourself?
How in tune are you with who you truly are? What makes you tick? And wouldn't you say that understanding yourself should be the most important thing before you go onward in life and try to understand others and life itself?
To know thyself is the key to successful living. This was an ancient Greek philosophy. It also governed the thinking in the East:
"He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-Tzu
The primary benefit to knowing yourself is that you will get along with life in a more well-adjusted way. All people on earth have to deal with others and with reality. If anything, we tend to have problems with one of the two and sometimes both. By knowing yourself, you will learn how to understand others better and the situations life presents. If you don't get to know yourself, you leave a lot of potential on the table and may reach the end of life, having lived a mechanical existence. You are just going through the motions.
If life is a gift, individual gifts were implanted in you from the beginning. Being aware of your thoughts and consciously understanding your rational thoughts compared to your random thoughts is a gift. Just remember, you are not your thoughts, so don't get too wrapped up in your head. Understand that what makes you human is that you are the one that is listening to the thoughts. In listening, you will begin to grow on the path of self-awareness. Again, all this is necessary if you want to live well with yourself, others around you like family members and co-workers and if you want to face the struggles of life like a boss!
Most people are looking for a quick fix in life. They are not willing to do the work. The deep work is akin to finding a "cure." The quick fix is useful for temporary relief. So, if you want to make the most of your life, get to know yourself. What does that mean, you ask? Simple. Know things like what makes you happy or sad. What scares you? Why do you have these feelings? What is your personality type? Are you an introvert with an analytical mind, or are you an extrovert with an undertone of creativity? Do the work. Understand yourself.
When you understand yourself and your mental inclinations and understand that they tend to rule your behaviour, you begin to create the possibility of awakening and living as you want to. You know that your higher level of self-awareness gives you greater agency over your thoughts, feelings and actions. You will have a greater understanding and empathy for others, and you will take life in stride. Not a bad outcome for a bit of hard work.
Action Steps:
Take time every day to go into self-isolation, meditation or prayer where you spend time thinking about who you are: call it self-discovery time. Here is a tip: for every one time you look at yourself, look 20 times at the Prophets: like Krishna, Confucious, Moses, Jesus and Mohammad, peace and blessing be upon them all.
Take a personality test and find out what personality type describes you best. You can also ask some friends and co-workers to offer their observations.
Pay attention to your unconscious behaviour patterns. If you get angry quickly, start to notice the trigger and, more importantly, where the quick temper is coming from? Is it a deep need to be respected? Well, maybe you can be ok if you are not respected as long as you respect yourself?
Work on your practical and spiritual life at the same time, in the midst of ordinary day to day life. There is no need to go to any extreme. No need to renounce your passions, no need to suppress your thoughts and no need to go on a retreat.
Always repeat the following phrase in moments of contemplation: I am what I am, and I can still be better! This will give you the subliminal message to always move towards your best self and cultivate higher virtues like temperance, kindness, courage and all the other good stuff!
Here is a parting story. A Rabbi was asked by a believer why it is said that the Torah is written on the heart and not in the heart? The Rabbi replied, "because the heart has to first open for the goodness to be absorbed."
Likewise, by doing the deep work of understanding yourself, you become open and allow the positive benefits of understanding yourself, others and reality itself to create a life where everything is working in harmony.
You are not just an acorn; in you is an entire forest of Oak trees.
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