By Shazad
“Children are great imitators, so give them something great to imitate.”
Anonymous
“Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.”
David Bly
“In any given moment we have two options: To step forward into growth or to step back into safety.”
Abraham Maslow
In a world where everyone is bombarded by advertising and celebrity influencers, it’s challenging to be a good parent. It is not impossible but it’s definitely harder now than ever. Someone is always sending messages to kids whether it’s online or in person. We might as well sort this out and figure out what key messages we want them to learn and understand.
The first message I want to teach my son is that its ok not to succeed, to get frustrated, to fall short despite giving it your all. What’s not ok is not trying or slacking off. There’s no excuse for not showing up and when you do, not giving your best result in whatever task you have been given. Don’t sleepwalk through school or that summer job. Don’t avoid doing the required work and taking on challenges. Keep striving and learn to enjoy the process as much as you do the Winning!
The second key message I would tell him is to focus on learning all the time. Even when something doesn’t work out and is a complete flop. What happened? What are some reasons for that failure or negative result? What part of the outcome was up to you and what things were out of your control. Putting things in context when something doesn’t work out avoids the blame game and also the self-hating behaviour that can develop over time.
The third message I would repeatedly remind my son is that, no one has it figured out every step of the way and to the 'n’th degree. We are all trying to make sense of the world and the constant change. We can only do our best by planning, staying aware of what key things are shaping our world, and being willing to adapt so we can grow into the kind of person that the moment requires us to be. Living according to principles doesn’t mean being dogmatic or rigid. It does mean we have a solid foundation upon which we function but we also have flexible thinking to help us manage things. That is the best combination of skills to have.
What are some of the things you wish your parents taught you when you were younger and what key lessons or messages will you share with your kids at each stage of their lives? All parents are teachers and the best “influencers” for their kids so don’t forget to do your part. They are counting on you!
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