By Ahsan
Did you ever listen to a good friend speak about their life and say to yourself, “what a poor choice of words.”
I have a hunch that using certain words will cause you to either become mentally strong and resilient or backfire on you so that you chisel away your mental strength.
Problem or Challenge?
I once had a job selling TVs and VCRs. The department manager spoke to a group of us and said he no longer uses the word “problem." He said he had replaced it with the word “challenge” instead. He went on to say, “there are no problems in my life, just challenges.”
He also said, "If I look at things this way, I remain happier, more confident, and my mind begins to seek solutions.
Words matter. Having challenges is better than having problems.
You also don't get stuck on the misery of being overwhelmed with annoying problems that trigger you to feel like you are struggling with trauma, getting overwhelmed and adding to being exhausted, nervous, anxious, and depressed.
21 Words To Avoid If You Want Life To Be Wonderful
Maybe it’s just me, but the first four words on the list seem to be used a lot in everyday language lately. These words were not in common use when I was growing up.
Have a read of the list, and let me know which other words come to mind. Then, let's do our best to spread the word to use good words and not mentally deflating and even dangerous words.
Triggered
Annoying
Trauma
Struggling
Suffering
Brutal
Devastating
Overwhelmed
Fragile
Mad
Sad
Stressful
Problem
Fear
Agony
Ordeal
Tired
Exhausted
Anxious
Nervous
Depressed
While we are at it, here are a few phrases that people often use that I believe will become self-fulfilling prophecies if they are repeated.
Harmful phrases such as:
“This is making me sick."
“This is killing me."
“I can’t stand this."
“I am at my wit's end."
"I'm struggling with this."
"My trauma is ______"
"This ______is triggering me."
“That is so annoying."
An Experiment You Might Try Instead
In his Journey To The Extraordinary Workshop https://www.drzimmerman.com/journey
Dr. Alan Zimmerman has used the following exercise with seminar participants. The lucky individuals are asked to repeat a phrase a few times.
The first phrase is:
“I’m a loser, I can't do it, life is hard, I’m no good, things are against me.”
And then,
“I’m a winner, I can do it, life is good, I’m a winner, things are looking up.”
The added twist is that after saying the one set of negative phrases, he has the person put their arms up and out to the side and proceeds to push them down. Guess what, even with the burliest person, when they say the negative phrases, Dr. Z can apply gentle pressure, and their arms go down. And, when they say the positive statements, the daintiest person stands as firm as the rock of Gibraltar.
What you say to yourself should not be taken lightly! Words are powerful they affect others and they definitely affect yourself. The “challenge” is that a lot of times, we innocently use dangerous words that dilute our strength and rob us of enjoying life to the fullest.
I'm no expert, but I think my hunch may be correct. The words we use to make our lives happier and more triumphant, and if reading this article convinces you of the same, maybe you might be so kind and spread the goodness. So please flip this article far and wide. We could all use a good word or two!
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