By Shazad
Every year, especially around January, people are trying to develop new or better habits. People want to change their life by improving their health or knowledge. Maybe you want to have a more productive work or business life. Lots of people want to have better relationships as well and that may be the focus for many at the start of the year. The question is, How Do You Actually Achieve these CHANGES and make them stick?
I’ll tell you the one way that usually fails for everyone. It’s the idea to add some good habits or remove some bad habits because it’s that time of the year and everyone else is doing it. Simply adding or removing an activity does not equal meaningful life changes. It is very shallow and ineffective over time. So what works? What can actually cause people to adopt meaningful transformations that last? What should you be doing instead? The answer is tying your habits to your identity. A better identity than you may have today. How do you do this? Ask yourself these 3 questions:
What KIND of Person Am I? Write out your key attributes and preferences.
What Kind of Person do I REALLY want to be? Describe the characteristics of your ideal personality that you want to be like.
What are the habits, thoughts, and STORIES of the person that I want to be like? Study the daily routines, quotes, and milestones in life that your ideal person has.
Once you know the kind of person you want to be, changing your habits and sticking to the good ones will be so easy. You have to repeat your new identity to yourself each day to remind yourself who you really are and want to be. Why does this work? It’s because you are clearly defining and frequently reinforcing a new identity that will stick in your mind. This will test everything you do, say, and think against that identity. It’s automatic and you can’t really control this part of your personality. Use it to your advantage and force yourself to align with your desired identity. If you try to do something contrary to it, it will be like the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard or the feeling of rubbing sandpaper on your face. It will get your attention and cause you to stop!
Our brains are wired to be CONSISTENT with our story and identity of who we are. If we develop an identity of a healthy, strong, and intelligent person who doesn’t smoke or doesn’t waste time, we will do everything in our power to live up to this kind of Awesome identity. Our thoughts, habits, and daily routines will be in sync with this idea of ourselves. Likewise, if the identity in our head is a person who is lazy, not very bright, smokes, and lacks willpower, our habits will match that image of ourselves because we can’t fight who we think we are in our minds. Why? Because that’s how we are wired. To change the wiring to do the opposite is simply not possible in the long run. The only lasting life changes come when you develop that Awesome Identity and live every day according to that identity in all your actions and thinking. It’s much easier to do this and becomes automatic after a short time of actively reminding yourself what kind of person you are.
Resolve to be Awesome in 2021 and watch all the good habits develop within you.