By Ahsan
Do you get upset when someone does not do what you expect of them?
Let's say you really wanted someone to appreciate your efforts in making dinner for them, but instead of elaborate praise, all you got was a mere thanks. After all, you spent all last week thinking of the perfect menu, researching the recipes, and toiling for hours on the day of only to get a “thanks?”
All you wanted was an acknowledgment of your effort and a pat on the shoulder. Was that too much to ask for?
Now instead of sitting down to enjoy the moment and great time you envisioned, you are seething underneath and unable to be happy. Your mood is spoiled, and you feign smile after smile the whole night.
How can you avoid this natural feeling of disappointment and upset?
You may need to get in touch with this reality. You, my friend, are a dictator.
A dictator? Yes, a dictator.
But don’t worry, I am a dictator too. We all are.
The weird thing is that we demand people to behave a certain way and often have expectations of them, don't we? And that makes you a demanding dictator with expectations. Kind of like a little child does.
We are like a driver stuck in the mud when we do this. We expect the car to move forward by pressing the gas and find ourselves getting more stuck. On top of that, we also start getting upset. We might even get out of the car, kick the tires, and scream out at the sky, saying, "damn it, why did it rain so much this week?"
When you demand others to behave in a way you expect them to, you are being a dictator, and when you get upset, that is very silly. So now you are a silly dictator or at least childish.
You getting upset is YOU punishing yourself. Because someone did not do what you demanded, you upset yourself by having bitter feelings. Silly? Crazy? If you stop to think about it, we all do this occasionally.
No one intentionally does this: I will make myself upset and ruin my day because you don't do my bidding. And yet, it's done.
So, if you want to enjoy your life and be happy, get in touch with reality and start observing yourself. The only demands you should make are upon yourself, not others.
Are you making unrealistic demands of others? Do you have grand expectations of them? Does the fulfillment of your demands and expectations required to make you happy? If so, drop that way of being and watch as your wheels move you forward.
Keep moving forward; relax, observe yourself, and enjoy the ride.
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