Here Is Why You Are Okay Even If Other People Say You Are Not

By Ahsan 

If you want to make someone’s day, give them a compliment. On the other hand, if you want to make someone feel lousy about themselves, all you need to do is give them a well-intentioned comment of “constructive criticism.”

Why do words of criticism, fault-finding, and chastisement bother us so much? What’s going on here?

 For starters, we feel bad because there may be truth to such comments. We also find ourselves facing a bit of reality¾we are not perfect!

So you feel bad because deep down inside, you know that you are not okay. The approval of others is what has power over how we feel about ourselves.

Don’t blame yourself too much because this was taught to you. You were taught to feel good about yourself when others give you praise and bad about yourself when you get the other stuff.  

As Anthony De Mello, author of Awareness, said, this approval acts like a drug. It makes you addicted like an addict is addicted to their drug of choice.

 There isn't anything wrong with praise and approval except for needing it to feel okay about yourself.

Social media showing the perfect lives of everyday people just adds to this phenomenon. The richer you are, the more popular, muscular, successful you are, the happier you should be about yourself.

This issue can be solved once and for all if you look at criticism and your abilities differently.

One solution is to block out the comment made against you and ignore it because you have come to be aware that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." That might work, but it may not be as good as the next idea you are about to read.

Here is a little known solution to handle the feelings of inadequacies, shame, and frustrations instead:

Accept the critique with a smile and care less about it because you do not focus on your weaknesses. Instead, smile because you are being reminded to focus on your strengths.

The land of strengths is where all your joy, self-esteem, and purpose in life is waiting!

When you get away from the drug of approval and its impact on your sense of self-worth, you live an extraordinary life. By ignoring the ignorant who do not understand that we should all focus on our strengths and extraordinary talents to live triumphantly, you will be a more effective and well-adjusted human being.

Don’t dwell on your weaknesses and try to improve them! This will only lead to more frustration and a low opinion of yourself.

 You can’t be good at everything? Embrace your strengths instead!

When you allow criticism to bother you, you limit your growth because you don’t see your strengths.

Don't ask a fish to climb a tree. He can't do it, and he will only die trying to.

Major in your majors. Find your strengths and build those.

When a person focuses on their strengths and uses them to produce results and value for others and themselves, the product is a healthy level of self-esteem, and who doesn’t need that?

So how do you do this? Just spend some time doing a bit of reflection and personal action:

Actions:

1.     Make a list of your strengths. And make a list of your weaknesses.

2.     Then scratch the list of your weaknesses with a big red X.

3.     Get some help from a friend, co-worker, or coach to help you identify your strengths as an added measure if needed.

4.     Think about those strengths and imagine how your life could change if you polish them up. Working on your strengths won't feel like work; it will feel like heaven.

5.     Spend time doing things that involve your strengths and extraordinary talents, so you live like a happy and productive human being that makes life look easy and are helpful to others in your orbit.

6.     Live from now on, thinking about how good you are at things and not how you need to fix yourself. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

7.     Lose the addiction of approval and teach people why this addiction is messing up their enjoyment of who they are and what they can be.

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